This is our big mistake: to think we look forward toward death. Most of death is already gone. Whatever time has passed is owned by death.
—Seneca
Every time you pick them up to trim their nails. Every time you take them to get a haircut. Every time you take a load of outgrown clothes to Goodwill or to a friend’s house. Every time you have to buy them a new pair of socks or shoes, be sure to acknowledge the moment.
Notice what has led up to this. Whether it’s a few weeks between nail trimmings or six months for a new pair of bigger shoes—what has happened is a piece of their childhood has elapsed. That time has passed, and it’s gone forever.
Now ask yourself: Did you spend it well? Did you live it? Were you who and what they needed you to be? The Stoics remind us that death isn’t just some inevitable event in the future. It is happening right now. Every time they wear out a coat, every time they outgrow a pair of shoes or a pair of pants. Those moments mark movement. They are the score marks of the homemade growth chart on the kitchen doorframe. They tick off opportunities for time together that never come back.