Grandiosity is a form of primal energy we all possess. It impels us to want something more than we have, to be recognized and esteemed by others, and to feel connected to something larger. The problem is not with the energy itself, which can be used to fuel our ambitions, but with the direction it takes.
Normally grandiosity makes us imagine we are greater and more superior than is actually the case. We can call this fantastical grandiosity because it is based on our fantasies and the skewed impression we get from any attention we receive. Fantastical grandiosity will make you flit from one fantastic idea to another, imagining all the accolades and attention you’ll receive but never realizing any of them. You must do the opposite. You want to get into the habit of focusing deeply and completely on a single project or problem. You want the goal to be relatively simple to reach, and within a time frame of months and not years. You will want to break this down into mini steps and goals along the way. Your objective here is to enter a state of flow, in which your mind becomes increasingly absorbed in the work, to the point at which ideas come to you at odd hours. This feeling of flow should be pleasurable and addicting. If you do not enter this state of flow, you are inevitably multitasking and stopping the focus. Work on overcoming this. This could be a project you work on outside your job. It is not the number of hours you put in but the intensity and consistent effort you bring to it. Related to this, you want this project to involve skills you already have or are in the process of developing. Your goal is to see continual improvement in your skill level, which will certainly come from the depth of your focus. Your confidence will rise. That should be enough to keep you advancing.
Daily Law: Don’t allow yourself to engage in fantasies about other projects on the horizon.
You want to channel this grandiose energy by absorbing yourself in your work as deeply as possible. The Laws of Human Nature, 11: Know Your Limits—The Law of Grandiosity
The lower self tends to be stronger. Its impulses pull us down into emotional reactions and defensive postures, making us feel self-righteous and superior to others. It makes us grab for immediate pleasures and distractions, always taking the path of least resistance. It induces us to adopt what other people are thinking, losing ourselves in the group. We feel the impulses of the higher self when we are drawn out of ourselves, wanting to connect more deeply with others, to absorb our minds in our work, to think instead of react, to follow our own path in life, and to discover what makes us unique. The lower is the more animal and reactive side of our nature, and one that we easily slip into. The higher is the more truly human side of our nature, the side that makes us thoughtful and self-aware. Because the higher impulse is weaker, connecting to it requires effort and insight. Bringing out this ideal self within us is what we all really want, because it is only in developing this side of ourselves that we humans feel truly fulfilled. The month of November will help you accomplish this by making you aware of the potentially positive and active elements contained within your nature.
There’s a common misconception that people have about human rationality.
This misconception is that rationality involves the suppression or the repression of emotions. In other words, if you’re feeling fear or anger or love or hatred, you have to tamp down those emotions. You have to get rid of them in order to be rational.
In this view, rationality isn’t something very fun or very exciting. It’s kind of like health food. It’s good for you, but it doesn’t taste very good. I want to tell you that this is actually quite wrong. It’s actually the opposite. Rationality involves some very important emotions that if you’re not experiencing you can’t begin to think rationally Neuroscience has demonstrated this with studies of people who’ve had damage to the emotional centers in their brain. After, they are not capable of making rational decisions or rational thinking.
I can illustrate my idea of rationality with some examples you may have experienced.
Let’s say you have a plan—something you want to accomplish in life.
There’s a book you want to write, or you want to lose weight or start a business. You’ve been feeling very frustrated and impatient with the course of your life. So you decide, I’m going to stop this, I’m going to actually get this project done, I’m going to create this business, or whatever it is. And you think about it and take gradual steps to get there.
Or let’s say you’re dealing with a nasty divorce situation, and you’re fighting over custody of your child, whom you love very much. It’s getting so ugly that you realize if it keeps going this way the child will actually be damaged by this process. And so at some point you take a step back and you think, “What’s really important is the long-term health of my child, so I’m not going to get involved in this process. I’m actually going to back off, and I’m going to think of what’s best for the child.”
Or let us say finally, there’s a very toxic person involved in your life.
Some kind of raging narcissist, for instance, who’s getting you enmeshed in all of this drama that’s making you miserable. And at some point, you tell yourself, “Damn it, I’ve had enough of this person. I’m going to figure out a way to get rid of this narcissist.” It’s not easy because this person is entangled in your life in all these ways. So you step back, and you get control of yourself, and you think, “How can I get rid of this person?” And then you do it. Finally, the narcissist is gone, and you feel a tremendous sense of relief.
Let’s look at these three examples.
In the first one—you’re fed up with the fact that you’re overweight or that you haven’t been able to accomplish any of your dreams or desires in life.
That frustration—that emotion—impels you to take action, which is to go through the steps of thinking rationally of how to get out of this state of frustration. And then, when it’s over, when you finally have realized the project or goal, you feel a tremendous sense of relief and pride.
In the case of the child—you’re impelled by the sense of empathy and love for the child. You’re worried about them and that love makes you step back and go through this rational process. And when it’s over, you feel so much better about yourself.
Or with that toxic person in your life—you’re full of anger, but you step back, you take rational steps, and you get rid of them. You feel joy and relief.
So if you didn’t feel these emotions at first, you would never be able to take the actions that will lead you to some kind of rational decision. And if you did not feel the rewards of pride, of empathy, and love of accomplishing something, you would never be motivated to go through the rational process again and again and again. So rationality involves emotions and thinking.
Rationality is not about tamping down your emotions. It’s about creating a beautiful harmony between the thinking process and the emotional animal parts of our nature. It is important to not see the path to rationality as something painful and ascetic. In fact, it brings powers that are immensely satisfying and pleasurable, much deeper than the more manic pleasures the world tends to offer us.