What a great spectacle it is when a husband or wife with many children are seen with these children crowded around them! —Musonius Rufus
It’s helpful to sit back and really think about what parental success looks like.
First, of course, it’s having healthy kids who survive to adulthood—that’s obvious.
But second, when you flash way forward into the future, what is it? It’s that beautiful phrase captured in the title of the Highwomen’s hit “Crowded Table.” At Thanksgiving. On birthdays. At some summer house on the beach you all rent as a family. That is, having kids whom you get to see, whom you have a good relationship with, whom you want to spend time with . . . for the rest of your days.
If you want a garden, the song reminds us, you’re going to have to sow the seed.
And if you want a crowded table, you’ll need to make the right decisions now so they’ll want to make the decision to fly from their homes to yours when they’re older and have families of their own. You’ll have to plant a little happiness, give a little love, if that’s what you want to reap.
You’ll need to set the table today to have the one you’ll want tomorrow.