October 7th - Why does my wrongdoing hurt me most of all?

October - Virtue And Kindness

October 7th

A Selfish Reason To Be Good

“The person who does wrong, does wrong to themselves. The unjust person is unjust to themselves—making themselves evil.”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.4

The next time you do something wrong, try to remember how it made you feel. Rarely does one say, “I felt great!”

There is a reason there’s often vomit at crime scenes. Instead of the catharsis the person thought they’d feel when they let themselves get out of control or when they got their revenge, they ended up making themselves sick. We feel a version of this when we lie, when we cheat, when we screw someone over.

So in that split second before your ill-gotten gains kick in, ask: How do I feel about myself? Is that moment when fear rises in your throat because you suspect you may get caught really worth it?

Self-awareness and wrongdoing rarely go together. If you need a selfish reason to not do wrong—put yourself in touch with these feelings. They’re a powerful disincentive.

WEEK XLI (41) - Practice Love

6th to 12th October

The Stoic notion of sympatheia, that we all are part of an organic whole, connected by mutual interests and affinities, is greater than the Golden Rule. Don’t treat others how you would like to be treated, treat them like you treat yourself, because we are all one. Seneca said that whenever he encountered another human being he saw an opportunity for kindness. He had learned from Hecato that if you want to be loved there is only one thing to do: love others. Who can you give love to this week? What kindness can you expend? How can you show how you feel—strangers, friends, and family? How can you show them that you believe we are all part of the same whole?

“Hecato says, T can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spell—if you would be loved, love.’”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 9.6

“A benefit should be kept like a buried treasure, only to be dug up in necessity. . . . Nature bids us to do well by all. . . . Wherever there is a human being, we have an opportunity for kindness.”

—Seneca, On the Happy Life, 24.2-3

“Nature produced us as a family, since we all sprang from the same source and toward the same end. Nature bestowed upon us mutual love, and joined us together as friends.”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 95.52

Stoic Guidance - Cardinal Virtues

If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they don’t control the world around them, only how they respond—and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.

Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.

Wisdom

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own”

—Epictetus

Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, “Works not words.”

Temperance / Self-Control / Moderation / Discipline

“‘If you seek tranquillity, do less.’ Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24

Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with “self-control.” Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline always—in pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.

Justice

“And a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31

Justice is “the principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.”

Epictetus said, “Seeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.”

Courage

“Don’t you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for us—each person’s life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36

Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. “Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed,” he said, “persist and resist.”

Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.