âItâs in keeping with Nature to show our friends affection and to celebrate their advancement, as if it were our very own. For if we donât do this, virtue, which is strengthened only by exercising our perceptions, will no longer endure in us.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 109.15
Watching other people succeed is one of the toughest things to doâ especially if we are not doing well ourselves. In our hunter-gatherer minds, we suspect that life is a zero-sum gameâthat for someone to have more means that we might end up with less.
But like all parts of philosophy, empathy and selflessness are a matter of practice. As Seneca observed, itâs possible to learn to ârejoice in all their successes and be moved by their every failure.â This is what a virtuous person does.
They teach themselves to actively cheer for other peopleâeven in cases where that might come at their own expenseâand to put aside jealousy and possessiveness. You can do that too.
The Stoic notion of sympatheia, that we all are part of an organic whole, connected by mutual interests and affinities, is greater than the Golden Rule. Donât treat others how you would like to be treated, treat them like you treat yourself, because we are all one. Seneca said that whenever he encountered another human being he saw an opportunity for kindness. He had learned from Hecato that if you want to be loved there is only one thing to do: love others. Who can you give love to this week? What kindness can you expend? How can you show how you feelâstrangers, friends, and family? How can you show them that you believe we are all part of the same whole?
âHecato says, T can teach you a love potion made without any drugs, herbs, or special spellâif you would be loved, love.ââ
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 9.6
âA benefit should be kept like a buried treasure, only to be dug up in necessity. . . . Nature bids us to do well by all. . . . Wherever there is a human being, we have an opportunity for kindness.â
âSeneca, On the Happy Life, 24.2-3
âNature produced us as a family, since we all sprang from the same source and toward the same end. Nature bestowed upon us mutual love, and joined us together as friends.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 95.52
If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they donât control the world around them, only how they respondâand that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.
Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.
âThe chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my ownâ
âEpictetus
Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, âWorks not words.â
ââIf you seek tranquillity, do less.â Or (more accurately) do whatâs essentialâwhat the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, youâll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, âIs this necessary?ââ
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24
Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with âself-control.â Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline alwaysâin pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.
âAnd a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31
Justice is âthe principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.â
Epictetus said, âSeeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.â
âDonât you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for usâeach personâs life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36
Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. âTwo words should be committed to memory and obeyed,â he said, âpersist and resist.â
Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.