âSome people are sharp and others dull; some are raised in a better environment, others in worse, the latter, having inferior habits and nurture, will require more by way of proof and careful instruction to master these teachings and to be formed by themâin the same way that bodies in a bad state must be given a great deal of care when perfect health is sought.â
âMusonius Rufus, Lectures, 1.1.33â1.3.1â3.
At the end of a frustrating exchange, you might find yourself thinking, Ugh, this person is such an idiot. Or asking, Why canât they just do things right?
But not everyone has had the advantages that youâve had. Thatâs not to say that your own life has been easyâyou just had a head start over some people. Thatâs why it is our duty to understand and be patient with others. Philosophy is spiritual formation, care of the soul. Some need more care than others, just as some have a better metabolism or were born taller than others. The more forgiving and tolerant you can be of othersâthe more you can be aware of your various privileges and advantagesâthe more helpful and patient you will be.
Epictetus spoke often to his students about the need to give up blaming and complainingâin fact, he saw it as one of the primary measuring sticks of progress in the art of living. How much of life is wasted pointing fingers? Has complaining ever solved a single problem? Marcus Aurelius would say, âBlame yourselfâor no one.â This week, try constructive feedback over complaining and responsibility over blame. And if something goes wrong, spend some time reflecting on what the true causes were. Donât waste a minute with complaintsâin this journal or out loud.
âYou must stop blaming God, and not blame any person. You must completely control your desire and shift your avoidance to what lies within your reasoned choice. You must no longer feel anger, resentment, envy, or regret.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.22.13
âFor nothing outside my reasoned choice can hinder or harm itâ my reasoned choice alone can do this to itself. If we would lean this way whenever we fail, and would blame only ourselves and remember that nothing but opinion is the cause of a troubled mind and uneasiness, then by God, I swear we would be making progress.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.19.2-3
âBut if you deem as your own only what is yours, and what belongs to others as truly not yours, then no one will ever be able to coerce or to stop you, you will find no one to blame or accuse, you will do nothing against your will, you will have no enemy, no one will harm you, because no harm can affect you.â
âEpictetus, Enchiridion, 1.3
If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they donât control the world around them, only how they respondâand that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.
Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.
âThe chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my ownâ
âEpictetus
Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, âWorks not words.â
ââIf you seek tranquillity, do less.â Or (more accurately) do whatâs essentialâwhat the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, youâll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, âIs this necessary?ââ
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24
Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with âself-control.â Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline alwaysâin pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.
âAnd a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31
Justice is âthe principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.â
Epictetus said, âSeeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.â
âDonât you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for usâeach personâs life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36
Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. âTwo words should be committed to memory and obeyed,â he said, âpersist and resist.â
Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.