There is the professional you and the parental you. It makes sense that we try to keep these things pretty distinct and separate. We even have a name for this distinction. We call it “boundaries” or “work-life balance.” And it’s good that we try to leave our work at the office when we head home.
But one way we can help other parents—or prospective parents—is by making sure that we don’t leave our kids at home . . . figuratively, anyway. By talking about our kids, by putting pictures of them up on our walls, by being honest and up front about trying to balance our careers and family, we are all helping each other.
For too long, parents have had to struggle in silence. They’ve been overwhelmed or burned out. They’ve wrestled with priorities. They’ve worried, they’ve hurt, they’ve wondered what the hell they were going to do. They’ve done all this alone even as the person in the office next to them was going through the same hell, even as the boss was wondering the exact same thing about their kids.
We can all help each other if we end this charade. We can help the parents we work with by creating an environment that’s open and safe, that allows us to stop pretending that we aren’t all trying to work two jobs at the same time, and to work them well.