Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.
—Epictetus
Michael Chabon was worried about his son, as all fathers worry. His son seemed lonely, seemed uninterested in the things his peers liked. Then one day, they found themselves at some type of fashion industry event as part of Chabon’s work. And his son was fascinated.
These creative and artistic people were so unlike the parents of his friends or the kids at his school. He came alive with a kind of infectious excitement that was reciprocated kindly by the other attendees. After the event, Chabon looked at his son, who seemed suddenly possessed of a confidence and purpose he didn’t have before. “You were with your people,” Chabon said to him. “You found them.” His son nodded. With both pride and understanding, all Chabon could say was, “That’s good. You’re early.”
We need to help our kids find “their people,” but nothing would benefit us more than doing the same. The ancient proverb is: “If you dwell with a lame man, you will learn how to limp.” We become like the people we spend the most time with. The random people you went to school with or met through work or your kid’s friend’s parents? Don’t settle! Find your people. Lean on their support. Let them make you a better parent.