Of course, kids can be annoying. Painfully so.
Kids scream in your ears and ruin your clothes with their food- and dirt-covered hands. Kids can cut off your air supply as they crawl onto your back for a piggyback ride.
Yet you have to absorb all of this. Even though it hurts. Even though you love that shirt. Even though you can’t breathe. You can’t thrust them away.
Yes, of course, you have to explain to them what’s appropriate and what isn’t. You have to protect your own physical well-being. But the point is, they have no idea yet how their actions affect other people. Even teenagers don’t fully comprehend the concept of consequences, of cause and effect. (Why do you think they drive like crazy, eat like crap, and talk all kinds of trash?) What they do comprehend is you getting upset, you pulling away.
Kids can feel your energy changing, even if they can’t put words to what it is they are sensing or how it makes them feel. And what’s most difficult about all this is that it very well might be this painful, confusing feeling—as provoked and instinctual as it is—that sticks with them forever. So work on getting control of yourself. Work on toughening yourself up a bit.
You can gently unwrap their arms from your throat. You can get a new shirt. You can turn the game around and chase them instead. You can make what was annoying become fun. You can talk to them calmly, correct them, and then gently turn the pain into a moment of profound connection. That’s entirely up to you.