The world would be a terrible place without children, who bring with them innocence, and the hope of man’s further perfection.
—John Ruskin
There’s a wrenching scene in the haunting novel The Sweet Hereafter. A widowed husband is folding up the clothes of his late wife. He’s struck, holding her things, by just how physically small she was. This tiny person he loved and misses, she took up so much space in his heart, occupied so much of his waking thoughts, that he came to see her as much bigger than she really was.
This is true for our kids too. They take up so much space in our lives. They have such big presences. They are so loud. So we can easily forget that they are tiny, tiny people. They barely have control of themselves. They are dwarfed by us physically, by our experiences, by our confidence in the way things will go.
We have to be careful. Whether they are teenagers or toddlers, we can’t forget how small they are. When they fall asleep in the car and you carry them to bed, take a second to notice their size. As you pack up their stuff to take them to college, take a look at just how little stuff they have—because their life is still so new.
The smaller you realize your kids are, the kinder you will be. The more protective and patient you will be. The more you will appreciate how hard they are trying to figure things out—themselves, their relationships, the world.
They are so tiny. Don’t forget it.