There are people who have seen their children die.
—Mary Laura Philpott
The comedian and actor Rob Delaney’s son, Henry, was healthy and beautiful, but then he got sick. Delaney and his wife, Leah, didn’t know what to do, so they took Henry to the doctor. It took a long time but, eventually, the doctor found that Henry had a brain tumor. They operated on it and he got better. But sadly, the tumor took Henry’s life at just two years old.
On Marc Maron’s podcast, Rob shared how his perspective changed following Henry’s death: I hold my children, and I hold my wife, and I know that they will die. And I know that it could happen before I die. So I know that our time together is finite. It will end. And so I appreciate them so much more. I marvel at the fact that these particular collections of cells coalesced around these souls for a temporary period, and I’m so lucky to get to be here at the same time as the little collection of cells and bones and nostril hairs. And so I really make the most of it in a way I didn’t before. And I wish that that skill didn’t come from something so painful. But it did. That was the price tag for me to receive that gift. And now I have it, and I appreciate it.
When we appreciate how little time we have with our loved ones, we can make the most of that finite amount of time. Families like the Gunthers and the Delaneys, as well as quietly grieving families all around you, have
learned painful and powerful lessons. We can’t take their pain away, but we can heed it. We can do our best to appreciate it from afar, what they paid for it, and apply its wisdom in our own lives.
Remind yourself this morning and every morning: this will end. Tempus fugit. Memento mori. Then go marvel at the collections of cells coalesced around the souls of those you love. Make the most of your time with them.