November 28th - What’s bothering me that I haven’t spoken up about?

November - Acceptance / Amor Fati

November 28th

It’s Not On Them, It’s On You

“If someone is slipping up, kindly correct them and point out what they missed. But if you can’t, blame yourself—or no one.”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 10.4

Agood teacher knows that when a student is failing, the blame falls on the instructor, not the pupil. How much more generous and tolerant would we be if we could extend this understanding to other spheres in our life? To be able to see that if a friend is unreliable, maybe it’s because they don’t know what’s wrong or because we haven’t tried to help them fix their flaw. If an employee is underperforming, just talk to them or figure out if they’re lacking in support. If someone is being annoying, try talking to them about the problem with their behavior, or ask yourself: Why am I being so sensitive?

And if this doesn’t work, try letting it go. It might be an isolated incident anyway.

WEEK XLVIII (48) - Balance The Books Of Life Daily

24th to 30th November

We journal as a way of gathering up life’s experiences, insights, frustrations, unexpected struggles and triumphs, and more. In all of this we are making a reckoning of our progress on life’s way. Seneca, whose father-in-law was in charge of keeping the books on Rome’s granary, liked the metaphor of balancing life’s books each day. Rather than postpone, our impulse each day should be to bring things, as much as possible, to completion. Why? Because we never know what tomorrow might bring. Epictetus, too, would tell his students that the important thing was that they had begun: begun to practice, learn, get better. Give yourself credit this week for the journey you are on—and reflect on how far you have come (and how far there is left to go).

“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. Life’s greatest flaw is that it’s always imperfect, and a certain portion of it is postponed. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 101.7b-8a

“Believe me, it’s better to produce the balance-sheet of your own life than that of the grain market.”

—Seneca, On the Brevity of Life, 18.3b

“I am your teacher and you are learning in my school. My aim is to bring you to completion, unhindered, free from compulsive behavior, unrestrained, without shame, free, flourishing, and happy, looking to God in things great and small—your aim is to learn and diligently practice all these things. Why then don’t you complete the work, if you have the right aim and I have both the right aim and right preparation? What is missing?... The work is quite feasible, and is the only thing in our power-----Let go of the past. We must only begin. Believe me and you will see.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 2.19.29-34

Stoic Guidance - Cardinal Virtues

If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they don’t control the world around them, only how they respond—and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.

Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.

Wisdom

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own”

—Epictetus

Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, “Works not words.”

Temperance / Self-Control / Moderation / Discipline

“‘If you seek tranquillity, do less.’ Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24

Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with “self-control.” Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline always—in pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.

Justice

“And a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31

Justice is “the principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.”

Epictetus said, “Seeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.”

Courage

“Don’t you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for us—each person’s life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36

Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. “Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed,” he said, “persist and resist.”

Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.