At five years old, the future NFL linebacker Ryan Shazier started losing his hair. It turned out to be a rare autoimmune disease called alopecia and, as you can imagine, not exactly an easy thing for a kid to go through. He was teased. He was looked at strangely. He felt different.
But one day, his parents helped him realize something. They said to him: everyone is going through something; the only difference is that what you’re going through is visible. Other kids had learning disabilities or were going to bed hungry at night or had parents who were getting divorced. All those struggles were hidden—perhaps intentionally, out of shame and fear—but that didn’t mean they weren’t real. It didn’t mean that anyone had it better or worse than Ryan. In fact, it meant they were actually all in the same boat.
Did Ryan suddenly stop getting teased? Did it suddenly not hurt to get teased? No, but it did help. It gave him perspective and patience and hope.
This is something we have to teach our kids. Life isn’t easy. No one is dealt a perfect hand. Some troubles are visible. Some aren’t. But we’re all struggling with something. When our kids understand this, they’ll feel better about those difficult moments. And they will be armed with the empathy they need to be kinder and more understanding of other kids too.