In the book My First Coach by Gary Myers, Tom Brady’s father, Tom Brady Sr., was told some of the things his son had to say about how much he enjoyed being with his dad growing up. Tom Sr. was visibly taken aback by the remarks. They were that yearned-for confirmation that every parent desires. As he said: I think every father relishes time with their sons, and you never know if the son relishes time with his father. For me to hear he respects me, as much as I respect him, is the most satisfying feeling that I could ever have. I remember when he was still in high school and I would go in to wake him up in the morning so we could go play golf. It was always the greatest joy for me that he wanted to play golf with me. Years later, he made the comment that, “I never wanted to stay out late on Friday night because I wanted to play golf with my dad Saturday morning.”
If there is one way to judge, in the end, whether you’ve done this thing right, that is it. It’s the ultimate test of a parent’s worth: Did you build the kind of relationship where your kids want to spend time with you? This isn’t something that you just throw up your hands and hope for. It doesn’t just happen because your personalities magically align. It’s something you have to work for—you have to create the alignment. You have to build the relationship.