In 2006, Benjamin Mee bought a zoo. Literally a zoo. It was broken down and in desperate need of a caring owner. Mee and his family were struggling too. Things hadn’t been going well for them either. But Mee explains to his son—in a scene immortalized by Matt Damon in the movie version of Mee’s book, We Bought a Zoo—that our lives are defined by the moments when we put ourselves out there: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.
This idea of breaking courage down into little pieces is a very good one for us parents to pass on to our own kids. A person isn’t brave, generally. We can be brave only specifically in the moment. This is as true for us and our kids or Benjamin Mee’s son as it is for the most decorated soldiers who have ever served in the military.
If you read the citations for many Medal of Honor recipients, for instance, the action that rises to the level of heroism is almost always just a moment. It’s usually not fighting off twelve insurgents for five hours—it’s sprinting across an open plain for twenty seconds, exposed to enemy gunfire on three sides, to come to the aid of a fallen comrade.
Just literally twenty seconds of insane, embarrassing bravery. That’s what courage is. So teach them how to find those few seconds of courage. Tell them something great will come of it. Promise them.