Many a tough parent has had to come to terms with the fact that each child is different and needs different things. Cato the Elder had to do just that with the challenges he designed for his son Marcus. As Plutarch writes, he had to account for the fact that Marcus was his own person: Since his body was not strong enough to endure the extreme hardship, Cato was obliged to relax, a little, the extraordinary austerity and self-discipline of his own way of life.
As it should be! We raise tough kids by teaching them—lovingly, patiently, understandingly—how to grow past their limits. Still, we acknowledge and respect those limits. We create challenges for them, but we are not the challenge. No, we are their ally. We are on their team. We love them. We’re working with and for them, not against them.