No parent wants to see their kids suffer. It’s almost more painful for you than it is for them to trip over their words, to scratch their heads over their homework, or to bumble their way through the early years of their career. But if they never struggle, they can’t grow, they can’t learn, they can’t get better.
Thomas Edison, a genius and a business success if there ever was one, had trouble with exactly this issue. He was so brilliant, so headstrong, so clear about what he wanted, that he could not quite give his sons room to develop and learn. He couldn’t quite figure out the line between boss and father.
His wife wrote him a great letter once that stands as advice to all parents: You’ve made a success of your life, built up tremendous industries successfully so you have nothing more to prove to the world that you are capable—All know it—Can’t you be happy in just letting the boys struggle along, with you to guide them. . . . Forget a little bit that you are Charlie’s manager and be a father—a big father! Of course, it’s wonderful that you care, that you’d die for them if necessary. But you have to forget a little bit—as Edison had to—just how much you feel for them, so that they can learn. And in this way, you’ll save them so much more suffering in the future.