âThe art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.61
Dancing is a popular metaphor for life. One must be limber and agile and go along with the music. One must feel and follow and flow with their partner. But anyone who has tried to do something difficult, where there is competition or an adversary, knows that the dancing metaphor is insufficient. Nobody ever gets up on stage and tries to tackle a dancer. The dancer never gets choked out by a rival.
For a wrestler, on the other hand, adversity and the unexpected are part and parcel of what they do. Their sport is a battle, just like life. They are fighting an opponent as well as their own limitations, emotions, and training.
Life, like wrestling, requires more than graceful movement. We have to undergo hard training and cultivate an indomitable will to prevail. Philosophy is the steel against which we sharpen that will and strengthen that resolve.
The Stoics taught that kindness trumps hate. They believed that those who engage in hate are prisoners to a destructive passionâ one that hurts the practitioner, not the intended target. Thereâs no reason to hate a hater; they are already suffering enough. In fact, when you see them this way, it makes it easier to be kind, good-natured, genuine, and useful. Remember the line in the Bible about how loving your enemies is like pouring hot coals on them, because itâs so unexpected? Who can you surprise like that this week? Whose enmity can you meet with kindness and compassion? How much better do you feel having done so?
âWhat if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will see to it that I wonât be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that. But I will see to it that Iâm kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater where they went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.13
âKindness is invincible, but only when itâs sincere, with no hypocrisy or faking. For what can even the most malicious person do if you keep showing kindness and, if given the chance, you gently point out where they went wrongâright as they are trying to harm you?â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5.9a
âKeep in mind that it isnât the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that itâs really your own opinion fuelling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved.â
âEpictetus, Enchiridion, 20
If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they donât control the world around them, only how they respondâand that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.
Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.
âThe chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my ownâ
âEpictetus
Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, âWorks not words.â
ââIf you seek tranquillity, do less.â Or (more accurately) do whatâs essentialâwhat the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, youâll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, âIs this necessary?ââ
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24
Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with âself-control.â Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline alwaysâin pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.
âAnd a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31
Justice is âthe principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.â
Epictetus said, âSeeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.â
âDonât you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for usâeach personâs life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36
Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. âTwo words should be committed to memory and obeyed,â he said, âpersist and resist.â
Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.