He who cannot put his thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of dispute.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Some families watch TV at dinner. Some families eat separately. Some families talk idly about their day. Dinner at Agnes Callard’s house is different. She and her children debate.
Because Callard is a philosopher, many of their debates are philosophical. If a conjoined twin committed a crime, should both twins be punished? Is it possible for the other twin to be completely innocent? But some of the topics are silly, such as the debate, led by her then seven-year-old, on what would be the ideal type of glove.
It wasn’t the content of the debate that mattered, of course—it was the activity. It was that they did it as a family. And like most great parenting strategies, this wasn’t some forced or formal activity. It wasn’t an obligation or a chore. These debates began as discussions between her and her husband that her kids wanted to join. They evolved over time. The rules are ad hoc; the tradition is organic. But in the end, it shaped the course of her family and their intellectual lives.
Can you say the same about your dinners? Maybe you should talk about it, then. Maybe even debate it.