King George VI referred to his daughters as his “pride and joy.” To be more specific, he referred to the two of them as “Pride” and “Joy.” Princess Elizabeth was “Pride” and Princess Margaret was “Joy.” Only with time did the two of them realize the sad implications of his remark—that he was proud of one and had fun with the other, and therefore found less happiness in the former and less pride in the latter. If only it were just a clever remark. If only there hadn’t been real truth in it—if his actions hadn’t confirmed it—there would have been little to infer.
It’s so easy to joke: about our “easy” child and our “difficult one,” about our “favorite,” about our “special” one, about who or what “will be the death of us.” God knows how many thoughtless asides about our kids have popped out of our mouths in casual conversation.
We have to consider the implications of the words we throw about like that. Because our kids are listening, and they really hear us. They are always trying to understand themselves and their place in the world. The things we say today, when they are young, will come back to them when they are older, and they will fit those words, for better and for worse, into the narrative of their lives.