The Holocaust survivor–turned–psychologist–and–author Dr. Edith Eger had a son who was born with athetoid cerebral palsy. One day, on a visit to the doctor’s office, Dr. Eger expressed some of her fears and worries to the specialist. It was there that she got some advice that is worth sharing with every parent, whether your family ever has to face that kind of adversity or not.
“You son will be whatever you make of him,” the doctor explained. “John’s going to do everything everyone else does, but it’s going to take him longer to get there. You can push him too hard, and that will backfire, but it will also be a mistake not to push him hard enough. You need to push him to the level of his potential.”
Your kids will be whatever you make them. No one is saying that things won’t be hard. No one is saying that any of this is fair—dyslexia or disabilities, being a refugee or losing your job, being a genius or being short. What matters is how we push them (and ourselves). What matters is the kindness and the love and the patience that accompany that pushing.
We can’t do everything for them, but we can believe in them and help them believe in themselves. We can help them reach the level of their potential. We can make them be what they are capable of.