One great thing about having kids is that they force you into an active practice of love whether you are ready for it or not.
—Michael Ian Black
The question hits you in a soft place. It hits you when you least expect it . . . and yet it’s there constantly. Am I a good parent? Am I screwing this up? Your own parents will try to reassure you. “Every parent thinks this,” they’ll say. Except that’s not true. There are, in fact, two types of parents who never think that. There are parents who are so convinced that they’re the center of the universe that they never question themselves, never wonder what they’re doing wrong. Then there are the parents who don’t even care enough to ask. Although they are very different, in the end, these two types are the same: they’re not good parents.
But you? The type who is always checking in and wondering, Am I doing enough? Who actually cares about whether you’re doing a good job? You are —by definition—a good parent, because you are thinking about your kids first, not yourself. It’s proof that you care, that you have self-awareness, that you’re always trying to improve. That you would stop to evaluate your own performance, that it would bother you to give anything less than the full measure of your devotion, is all the evidence you need to reach a positive conclusion.
So if you feel that negative thought—that doubt—come up today, be reassured. It means you’re putting them first. It means you’re doing a good job.