When you look at successful people with kids, it can be easy to marvel at all they’ve accomplished: How do they do it? How do they get it all done? Fortunately, there is an answer, and it’s definitely not magic: They have help. They have nannies and tutors and house managers. They have chiefs of staff. They have personal assistants. They have personal trainers. That’s how they get it all done. If you could afford it, you’d be just as efficient and seemingly carefree as them.
Now, the point of explaining this is not to make you jealous or to point out the inequities of our society. In fact, it’s the opposite: it’s to nudge you into following in their footsteps. Of course, hiring a full-time staff is beyond most of our capabilities, but surely there are things you are doing that you don’t have to do, that you could afford to pay someone to do for you. And yet you continue to do them . . . Why? Because your dad changed the oil in his car? Because your mom always served home-cooked meals? Because you feel guilty outsourcing this or that? C’mon. Forget the gender roles. Forget “the way things used to be.” The way things used to be almost invariably involved parents spending way less time with their kids than we do now.
Take a minute today and calculate what an hour of your time is worth. Think about how much more present you could be for your kids if there were less on your plate. You don’t have to outsource everything, hire help for everything, but you don’t have to do everything yourself either.
Get help.