If a person puts even one measure of effort into following ritual and the standards of righteousness, he will get back twice as much.
—Xunzi
If you talk to a sleep expert about sleep training your infant, they’ll tell you: kids need structure and routine. If you talk to an educational expert about helping your kid do better in school, they’ll tell you: structure and routine. If you talk to a behavioral expert about helping your kid behave, they’ll tell you: structure and routine. Hell, if you talk to a dog trainer, they’ll tell you the same thing about your pet: structure and routine (and exercise).
Pretty much whatever the problem or whatever the issue, structure and routine are the solution. Which makes sense. The world is scary. So much of it is new and overwhelming. But if you give them structure and routine, they can relax because they have less to figure out, less to worry about. Instead, they can explore. They can get comfortable and accept things. They can feel safe.
But what about you? What about Mom and Dad? Do you maintain structure and routine for yourself? You put them to bed at the same time each night, but do you wing it after that? You plan their dinners in advance . . . but what about your lunch at work? You give them quiet playtime in the afternoon and downtime on the weekends. But do you create that kind of regular time for yourself? Structure and routine are essential no matter who or how old you are. They’re important for kids and they’re important for parents.
And guess what—when you keep a routine for yourself . . . it’s easier to keep them on one.