âHow beautifully Plato put it. Whenever you want to talk about people, itâs best to take a birdâs-eye view and see everything all at onceâof gatherings, armies, farms, weddings and divorces, births and deaths, noisy courtrooms or silent spaces, every foreign people, holidays, memorials, marketsâall blended together and arranged in a pairing of opposites.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.48
There is a beautiful dialogue called âIcaromenippus, an Aerial Expeditionâ by the poet Lucian in which the narrator is given the ability to fly and sees the world from above. Turning his eyes earthward, he sees how comically small even the richest people, the biggest estates, and entire empires look from above. All their battles and concerns were made petty in perspective.
In ancient times, this exercise was only theoreticalâthe highest anyone could get was the top of a mountain or a building a few stories tall. But as technology has progressed, humans have been able to actually take that birdâs-eye viewâand greater.
Edgar Mitchell, an astronaut, was one of the first people to see the earth from outer space. As he later recounted:
âIn outer space you develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, âLook at that, you son of a bitch.ââ
Many a problem can be solved with the perspective of Platoâs view. Use it.
âHe canât serve in the military? Let him seek public office. Must he live in the private sector? Let him be a spokesperson. Is he condemned to silence? Let him aid his fellow citizens by silent public witness. Is it dangerous to enter the Forum? Let him display himself, in private homes, at public events and gatherings, as a good associate, faithful friend, and moderate tablemate. Has he lost the duties of a citizen? Let him exercise those of a human being.â
âSeneca, On Tranquility Of Mind, 4.3
Shortly before his death, as victory in the Civil War was finally within his grasp, Lincoln told a story to an audience of generals and admirals about a man who had approached him for a high-ranking government appointment. First, the man asked if he might be made a foreign minister. Upon being turned down, the man asked for a more modest position. Upon being turned down again, he asked for a job as a low-level customs officer. Finding he could not get even that, he finally just asked Lincoln for an old pair of trousers. âAh,â Lincoln laughed as he concluded the story, âit is well to be humble.â
This story embodies the flexibility and determination of Stoicism. If we canât do this, then perhaps we can try that. And if we canât do that, then perhaps we can try some other thing. And if that thing is impossible, there is always another. Even if that final thing is just being a good human being âwe always have some opportunity to practice our philosophy, to make some contribution.
âWhy then are we offended? Why do we complain? This is what weâre here for.â
âSeneca, On Providence, 5.7bâ8
No one said life was easy. No one said it would be fair.
Donât forget, though, that you come from a long, unbroken line of ancestors who survived unimaginable adversity, difficulty, and struggle. Itâs their genes and their blood that run through your body right now. Without them, you wouldnât be here.
Youâre an heir to an impressive traditionâand as their viable offspring, youâre capable of what they are capable of. Youâre meant for this. Bred for it.
Just something to keep in mind if things get tough.
âWe cry to God Almighty, how can we escape this agony? Fool, donât you have hands? Or could it be God forgot to give you a pair? Sit and pray your nose doesnât run! Or, rather just wipe your nose and stop seeking a scapegoat.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 2.16.13
The world is unfair. The game is rigged. So-and-so has it out for you.
Maybe these theories are true, but practically speakingâfor the right here and nowâwhat good are they to you? That government report or that sympathetic news article isnât going to pay the bills or rehab your broken leg or find that bridge loan you need. Succumbing to the self-pity and âwoe is meâ narrative accomplishes nothingânothing except sapping you of the energy and motivation you need to do something about your problem.
We have a choice: Do we focus on the ways we have been wronged, or do we use what weâve been given and get to work? Will we wait for someone to save us, or will we listen to Marcus Aureliusâs empowering call to âget active in your own rescueâif you care for yourself at allâand do it while you can.â Thatâs better than just blowing your own nose (which is a step forward in itself).
âThink of those who, not by fault of inconsistency but by lack of effort, are too unstable to live as they wish, but only live as they have begun.â
âSeneca, On Tranquillity Of Mind, 2.6b
In The Dip, Seth Godin draws an interesting analogy from the three types of people you see in line at the supermarket. One gets in a short line and sticks to it no matter how slow it is or how much faster the others seem to be going. Another changes lines repeatedly based on whatever he thinks might save a few seconds. And a third switches only onceâwhen itâs clear her line is delayed and there is a clear alternativeâand then continues with her day. Heâs urging you to ask: Which type are you?
Seneca is also advising us to be this third type. Just because youâve begun down one path doesnât mean youâre committed to it forever, especially if that path turns out to be flawed or impeded. At that same time, this is not an excuse to be flighty or incessantly noncommittal. It takes courage to decide to do things differently and to make a change, as well as discipline and awareness to know that the notion of âOh, but this looks even betterâ is a temptation that cannot be endlessly indulged either.
âWe like to say that we donât get to choose our parents, that they were given by chanceâyet we can truly choose whose children weâd like to be.â
âSeneca, On The Brevity Of Life, 15.3a
We are fortunate enough that some of the greatest men and women in history have recorded their wisdom (and folly) in books and journals. Many others have had their lives chronicled by a careful biographerâfrom Plutarch to Boswell to Robert Caro. The literature available at your average library amounts to millions of pages and thousands of years of knowledge, insight, and experience.
Maybe your parents were poor role models, or you lacked a great mentor. Yet if we choose to, we can easily access the wisdom of those who came before usâthose whom we aspire to be like.
We not only owe it to ourselves to seek out this hard-won knowledge, we owe it to the people who took the time to record their experiences to try to carry on the traditions and follow their examplesâto be the promising children of these noble parents.
âYou must build up your life action by action, and be content if each one achieves its goal as far as possibleâand no one can keep you from this. But there will be some external obstacle! Perhaps, but no obstacle to acting with justice, self-control, and wisdom. But what if some other area of my action is thwarted? Well, gladly accept the obstacle for what it is and shift your attention to what is given, and another action will immediately take its place, one that better fits the life you are building.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.32
Elite athletes in collegiate and professional sports increasingly follow a philosophy known as âThe Process.â Itâs a philosophy created by University of Alabama coach Nick Saban, who taught his players to ignore the big pictureâimportant games, winning championships, the opponentâs enormous leadâand focus instead on doing the absolutely smallest things wellâpracticing with full effort, finishing a specific play, converting on a single possession. A season lasts months, a game lasts hours, catching up might be four touchdowns away, but a single play is only a few seconds. And games and seasons are constituted by seconds.
If teams follow The Process, they tend to win. They overcome obstacles and eventually make their way to the top without ever having focused on the obstacles directly. If you follow The Process in your lifeâassembling the right actions in the right order, one right after anotherâyou too will do well. Not only that, you will be better equipped to make quick work of the obstacles along that path. Youâll be too busy putting one foot in front of the next to even notice the obstacles were there.
âThere is no vice which lacks a defense, none that at the outset isnât modest and easily intervenedâbut after this the trouble spreads widely. If you allow it to get started you wonât be able to control when it stops. Every emotion is at first weak. Later it rouses itself and gathers strength as it moves alongâitâs easier to slow it down than to supplant it.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 106.2bâ3a
âRivers,â Publilius Syrus reminds us with an epigram, âare easiest to cross at their source.â Thatâs what Seneca means too. The raging waters and deadly currents of bad habits, ill discipline, chaos, and dysfunctionâsomewhere they began as no more than just a slight trickle.
Somewhere they are a placid lake or pond, even a bubbling underground spring.
Which would you rather doânearly drown in a dangerous crossing in a few weeks or cross now while itâs still easy? Itâs up to you.
âIf you find something very difficult to achieve yourself, donât imagine it impossibleâfor anything possible and proper for another person can be achieved as easily by you.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.19
There are two kinds of people in this world. The first looks at others who have accomplished things and thinks: Why them? Why not me? The other looks at those same people and thinks: If they can do it, why canât I?
One is zero-sum and jealous (if you win, I lose). The other is non-zerosum (thereâs plenty to go around) and sees the success of others as an inspiration. Which attitude will propel you onward and upward? Which will drive you to bitterness and despair?
Who will you be?
âHow much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.8
The first rule of holes, goes the adage, is that âif you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.â This might be the most violated piece of commonsense wisdom in the world. Because what most of us do when something happens, goes wrong, or is inflicted on us is make it worseâ first, by getting angry or feeling aggrieved, and next, by flailing around before we have much in the way of a plan.
Today, give yourself the most simple and doable of tasks: just donât make stuff worse. Whatever happens, donât add angry or negative emotions to the equation. Donât react for the sake of reacting. Leave it as it is. Stop digging. Then plan your way out.
âIn this way you must understand how laughable it is to say, âTell me what to do!â What advice could I possibly give? No, a far better request is, âTrain my mind to adapt to any circumstance.â . . . In this way, if circumstances take you off script . . . you wonât be desperate for a new prompting.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 2.2.20bâ1; 24bâ25a
It would be nice if someone could show us exactly what to do in every situation. Indeed, this is what we spend a good portion of our lives doing: preparing for this, studying for that. Saving for or anticipating some arbitrary point in the future. But plans, as the boxer Mike Tyson pointed out, last only until youâre punched in the face.
Stoics do not seek to have the answer for every question or a plan for every contingency. Yet theyâre also not worried. Why? Because they have confidence that theyâll be able to adapt and change with the circumstances.
Instead of looking for instruction, they cultivate skills like creativity, independence, self-confidence, ingenuity, and the ability to problem solve. In this way, they are resilient instead of rigid. We can practice the same. Today, we will focus on the strategic rather than the tactical. Weâll remind ourselves that itâs better to be taught than simply given, and better to be flexible than stick to a script.
âDonât you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for usâeach personâs life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31â36
The writer Robert Greene often uses the phrase âAs in war, so in life.â
Itâs an aphorism worth keeping close, because our life is a battle both literally and figuratively. As a species, we fight to survive on a planet indifferent to our survival. As individuals, we fight to survive among a species whose population numbers in the billions. Even inside our own bodies, diverse bacteria battle it out. Vivere est militare. (To live is to fight.)
Today, youâll be fighting for your goal, fighting against impulses, fighting to be the person you want to be. So what are the attributes necessary to win these many wars?
And which attributes lose wars?
As in war, so these attributes matter in daily life.
âEvery event has two handlesâone by which it can be carried, and one by which it canât. If your brother does you wrong, donât grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the otherâthat he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries.â
âEpictetus, Enchiridion, 43
The famous journalist William Seabrook suffered from such debilitating alcoholism that in 1933 he committed himself to an insane asylum, which was then the only place to get treatment for addiction. In his memoir, Asylum, he tells the story of the struggle to turn his life around inside the facility. At first, he stuck to his addict way of thinkingâand as a result, he was an outsider, constantly getting in trouble and rebelling against the staff.
He made almost no progress and was on the verge of being asked to leave.
Then one day this very quote from Epictetusâabout everything having two handlesâoccurred to him. âI took hold now by the other handle,â he related later, âand carried on.â He actually began to have a good time there.
He focused on his recovery with real enthusiasm. âI suddenly found it wonderful, strange, and beautiful, to be sober. . . . It was as if a veil, or scum, or film had been stripped from all things visual and auditory.â Itâs an experience shared by many addicts when they finally stop doing things their way and actually open themselves to the perspectives and wisdom and lessons of those who have gone before them.
There is no promise that trying things this wayâof grabbing the different handleâwill have such momentous results for you. But why continue to lift by the handle that hasnât worked?
âTo the youngster talking nonsense Zeno said, âThe reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is so we might listen more and talk less.ââ
âDiogenes Laertius, Lives Of Eminent Philosophers, 7.1.23
Why do the wise have so few problems compared with the rest of us? There are a few simple reasons.
First, the wise seem to manage expectations as much as possible. They rarely expect what isnât possible in the first place.
Second, the wise always consider both the best and worst case scenarios. They donât just think about what they wish to happen, but also what very realistically can happen if things were to suddenly turn.
Third, the wise act with a reverse clauseâmeaning that they not only consider what might go wrong, but they are prepared for that to be exactly what they want to happenâit is an opportunity for excellence and virtue. And if you follow it today, you too will find that nothing surprises you or happens contrary to your expectations.
âDonât be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you are injured and canât climb up without another soldierâs help?â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.7
No one ever said you were born with all the tools youâd need to solve every problem youâd face in life. In fact, as a newborn you were practically helpless. Someone helped you then, and you came to understand that you could ask for that help. It was how you knew you were loved.
Well, you are still loved. You can ask anyone for help. You donât have to face everything on your own.
If you need help, comrade, just ask.
âFortune doesnât have the long reach we suppose, she can only lay siege to those who hold her tight. So, letâs step back from her as much as possible.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 82.5bâ6
Machiavelli, who supposedly admired Seneca, says in The Prince that âfortune is a woman, and it is necessary, in order to keep her down, to beat her and struggle with her.â Even for the sixteenth century, itâs pretty horrifying imagery. But for a ruthless and endlessly ambitious ruler, it was par for the course. Is that the nasty lifestyle youâre after?
Now compare that view with Senecaâs. Not only is he saying that the more you struggle with fortune, the more vulnerable you are to it, but heâs also saying that the better path to security is in the âimpregnable wallâ of philosophy. âPhilosophy,â he says, helps us tame the âmad frenzy of our greed and tamps down the fury of our fears.â
In sports or war, the metaphor here would be the choice between a strategy of endless, exhausting offense and a strategy of resilient, flexible defense. Which will you play? What kind of person are you?
Only you can answer that question. But you would be remiss not to consider the ultimate end of most of the princes in Machiavelliâs bookâand how few of them died happily in bed, surrounded by their loved ones.
âLet Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soulâthe one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one, who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world, and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 107.12
Whatever happens today, let it find us prepared and active: ready for problems, ready for difficulties, ready for people to behave in disappointing or confusing ways, ready to accept and make it work for us.
Letâs not wish we could turn back time or remake the universe according to our preference. Not when it would be far better and far easier to remake ourselves.
âDonât let your reflection on the whole sweep of life crush you. Donât fill your mind with all the bad things that might still happen. Stay focused on the present situation and ask yourself why itâs so unbearable and canât be survived.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.36
When you look back at some of the most impressive, even scary, things that youâve done or endured, how were they possible? How were you able to see past the danger or the poor odds? As Marcus described, you were too busy with the details to let the whole sweep of the situation crush you. In fact, you probably didnât even think about it at the time. A character in Chuck Palahniukâs novel Lullaby says, âThe trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close up.â Sometimes grasping the big picture is important, and the Stoics have helped us with that before. A lot of times, though, itâs counterproductive and overwhelming to be thinking of everything that lies ahead. So by focusing exclusively on the present, weâre able to avoid or remove those intimidating or negative thoughts from our frame of view.
A man walking a tightrope tries not to think about how high up he is. An undefeated team tries not to think about their perfect winning streak. Like us, theyâre better off putting one foot in front of the other and considering everything else to be extraneous.
âIf then itâs not that the things you pursue or avoid are coming at you, but rather that you in a sense are seeking them out, at least try to keep your judgment of them steady, and they too will remain calm and you wonât be seen chasing after or fleeing from them.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.11
There is a maxim that Navy SEALs pass from officer to officer, man to man. In the midst of chaos, even in the fog of war, their battle-tested advice is this: âCalm is contagious.â
Especially when that calm is coming from the man or woman in charge. If the men begin to lose their wits, if the group is unsure of what to do next, itâs the leaderâs job to do one thing: instill calmânot by force but by example.
Thatâs who you want to be, whatever your line of work: the casual, relaxed person in every situation who tells everyone else to take a breath and not to worry. Because youâve got this. Donât be the agitator, the paranoid, the worrier, or the irrational. Be the calm, not the liability. It will catch on.
âWe should take wandering outdoor walks, so that the mind might be nourished and refreshed by the open air and deep breathing.â
âSeneca, On Tranquility Of Mind, 17.8
In a notoriously loud city like Rome, it was impossible to get much peace and quiet. The noises of wagons, the shouting of vendors, the hammering of a blacksmithâall filled the streets with piercing violence (to say nothing of the putrid smells of a city with poor sewage and sanitation). So philosophers went on a lot of walksâto get where they needed to go, to clear their heads, to get fresh air.
Throughout the ages, philosophers, writers, poets, and thinkers have found that walking offers an additional benefitâtime and space for better work. As Nietzsche would later say: âIt is only ideas gained from walking that have any worth.â
Today, make sure you take a walk. And in the future, when you get stressed or overwhelmed, take a walk. When you have a tough problem to solve or a decision to make, take a walk. When you want to be creative, take a walk. When you need to get some air, take a walk. When you have a phone call to make, take a walk. When you need some exercise, take a long walk. When you have a meeting or a friend over, take a walk together.
Nourish yourself and your mind and solve your problems along the way.
âIf you are defeated once and tell yourself you will overcome, but carry on as before, know in the end youâll be so ill and weakened that eventually you wonât even notice your mistake and will begin to rationalize your behavior.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 2.18.31
Itâs been said that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. Yet thatâs exactly what most people do. They tell themselves: Today, I wonât get angry. Today, I wonât gorge myself. But they donât actually do anything differently. They try the same routine and hope it will work this time. Hope is not a strategy!
Failure is a part of life we have little choice over. Learning from failure, on the other hand, is optional. We have to choose to learn. We must consciously opt to do things differentlyâto tweak and change until we actually get the result weâre after. But thatâs hard.
Sticking with the same unsuccessful pattern is easy. It doesnât take any thought or any additional effort, which is probably why most people do it.
âYou could enjoy this very moment all the things you are praying to reach by taking the long way aroundâif youâd stop depriving yourself of them.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 12.1
Ask most people what theyâre working toward and youâll get an answer like: âIâm trying to become a [insert profession].â Or theyâll tell you theyâre trying to get appointed to some impressive committee or position, become a millionaire, get discovered, become famous, whatever. Now you ask a couple more questions, such as âWhy are you doing that?â or âWhat are you hoping it will be like when you get it?â and you find at the very core of it, people want freedom, they want happiness, and they want the respect of their peers.
A Stoic looks at all this and shakes his head at the immense effort and expense we put into chasing things that are simple and straightforward to acquire. Itâs as if we prefer to spend years building a complicated Rube Goldberg machine instead of just reaching out and picking up what we want. Itâs like looking all over for your sunglasses and then realizing they were on your head the whole time.
Freedom? Thatâs easy. Itâs in your choices.
Happiness? Thatâs easy. Itâs in your choices.
Respect of your peers? That too is in the choices you make.
And all of that is right in front of you. No need to take the long way to get there.
âThe beautiful and good person neither fights with anyone nor, as much as they are able, permits others to fight . . . this is the meaning of getting an educationâlearning what is your own affair and what is not. If a person carries themselves so, where is there any room for fighting?â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 4.5.1; 7bâ8a
Socrates famously travelled around Athens, approaching the people he disagreed with most, and engaging them in long discussions. In these discussionsâor what record we have of themâthere are many examples of his conversation mates getting exasperated, upset, or aggravated by his many questions. Indeed, the people of Athens eventually got so upset, they sentenced Socrates to death.
But Socrates never seemed to get upset himself. Even when talking about matters of life and death, he always kept his cool. He was much more interested in hearing what the other person had to say than making sure he was heard orâas most of us insist uponâwinning the argument.
The next time you face a political dispute or a personal disagreement, ask yourself: Is there any reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to help solve anything? Would an educated or wise person really be as quarrelsome as you might initially be inclined to be? Or would they take a breath, relax, and resist the temptation for conflict? Just think of what you could accomplishâand how much better you would feelâif you could conquer the need to fight and win every tiny little thing.
âThis is why we say that nothing happens to the wise person contrary to their expectations.â
âSeneca, On Tranquillity Of Mind, 13.3b
Hesiod, the poet, said that âthe best treasure is a sparing tongue.â Robert Greene considers it a law of power: Always Say Less Than Necessary.
We talk because we think itâs helping, whereas in reality itâs making things hard for us. If our spouse is venting, we want to tell them what they should do. In fact, all they actually want us to do is hear them. In other situations, the world is trying to give us feedback or input, but we try to talk ourselves out of the problemâonly to make it worse.
So today, will you be part of the problem or part of the solution? Will you hear the wisdom of the world or drown it out with more noise?
âWhat assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite!â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 1.27.4
Viktor Frankl, the brilliant psychologist and Holocaust survivor, cured patients suffering from phobias or neurotic habits using a method he called âparadoxical intention.â Letâs say a patient couldnât sleep. The standard therapy would have been something obvious, like relaxation techniques. Frankl instead encouraged the patient to try not to fall asleep. He found that shifting focus off the problem deflected the patientâs obsessive attention away from it and allowed them to eventually sleep normally.
Fans of the TV show Seinfeld might remember an episode called âThe Oppositeâ where George Costanza magically improves his life by doing the opposite of whatever heâd normally do. âIf every instinct you have is wrong,â Jerry says to him, âthen the opposite would have to be right.â The larger point is that sometimes our instincts or habits get stuck in a bad pattern that pushes us further from our natural, healthy selves.
Now you shouldnât immediately toss out everything in your lifeâsome stuff is working (youâre reading this book!). But what if you explored opposites today? What if you broke the pattern?
âHow does it help, my husband, to make misfortune heavier by complaining about it? This is more fit for a kingâto seize your adversities head on. The more precarious his situation, the more imminent his fall from power, the more firmly he should be resolved to stand and fight. It isnât manly to retreat from fortune.â
âSeneca, Oedipus, 80
As the CEO of Charles Schwab, Walt Bettinger hires hundreds of people each year and interviews hundreds more. Over his lifetime, we can safely assume heâs had his share of hits, misses, and surprises when it comes to bringing people on board. But consider one technique heâs used as heâs gotten older: he takes a candidate to breakfast and asks the restaurantâs manager to purposely mess up the candidateâs breakfast order.
Heâs testing to see how they react. Do they get upset? Do they act rudely? Do they let this little event spoil the meeting? Do they handle the inconvenience with grace and kindness?
How you handle even minor adversity might seem like nothing, but, in fact, it reveals everything.
âPhilosophy calls for simple living, but not for penanceâitâs quite possible to be simple without being crude.â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 5.5
Marcusâs meditations are filled with self-criticism and so are the writings of other Stoics. Itâs important to remember, however, that thatâs as far as it goes. There was no self-flagellation, no paying penance, no self-esteem issues from guilt or self-loathing. You never hear them call themselves worthless pieces of crap, nor do they ever starve or cut themselves as punishment. Their self-criticism is constructive.
Laying into yourself, unduly depriving yourself, punishing yourselfâ thatâs self-flagellation, not self-improvement.
No need to be too hard on yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard but not an impossible one. And forgive yourself if and when you slip up.
âIt is possible to curb your arrogance, to overcome pleasure and pain, to rise above your ambition, and to not be angry with stupid and ungrateful peopleâyes, even to care for them.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.8
âI was just born this way.â âI never learned anything different.â âMy parents set a terrible example.â âEveryone else does it.â What are these?
Excuses that people use to justify staying as they are instead of striving to become better.
Of course itâs possible to curb our arrogance, control our anger, and be a caring person. How do you think others do it? Certainly their parents werenât perfect; they didnât come out of the womb incapable of ego or immune to temptation. They worked on it. They made it a priority. They solved it like they would solve any other problem: by dedicating themselves to finding a solution, making incremental progress until they did.
They became who they are. Just like you can.
âWhile itâs true that someone can impede our actions, they canât impede our intentions and our attitudes, which have the power of being conditional and adaptable. For the mind adapts and converts any obstacle to its action into a means of achieving it. That which is an impediment to action is turned to advance action. The obstacle on the path becomes the way.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.20
Today, things will happen that will be contrary to your plans. If not today, then certainly tomorrow. As a result of these obstacles, you will not be able to do what you planned. This is not as bad as it seems, because your mind is infinitely elastic and adaptable. You have the power to use the Stoic exercise of turning obstacles upside down, which takes one negative circumstance and uses it as an opportunity to practice an unintended virtue or form of excellence.
If something prevents you from getting to your destination on time, then this is a chance to practice patience.
If an employee makes an expensive mistake, this is a chance to teach a valuable lesson.
If a computer glitch erases your work, itâs a chance to start over with a clean slate.
If someone hurts you, itâs a chance to practice forgiveness.
If something is hard, it is a chance to get stronger.
Try this line of thinking and see whether there is a situation in which one could not find some virtue to practice or derive some benefit. There isnât one. Every impediment can advance action in some form or another.
Adoption was a widespread practice in Roman society, especially in the senatorial class and as a provision for imperial succession. Marcus Aurelius himself was the adopted son of Emperor Antoninus Pius, who himself was adopted by the Emperor Hadrian so that Marcus would one day succeed them both to the purple. While Seneca was never adopted, his brother Novatus was, becoming Gallio who in the New Testament refused to press charges on Saint Paul. But Seneca liked to look at the phenomenon of adoption the other way around, saying we can always choose whose children we want to be. For him, Cato, the towering, resolute Stoic who railed against Julius Caesar in defense of the Republic, was always standing by in his mind. The first book in Marcus Aureliusâs Meditations is a catalog of all the people he had learned from and the lessons he had taken from their lives. Use this week to think of models that you can follow, wise and admirable people you can measure yourself against.
âWe like to say that we donât get to choose our parents, that they were given by chanceâyet we can truly choose whose children weâd like to be.â
âSeneca, On the Brevity of Life, 15.3a
âWe can remove most sins if we have a witness standing by as we are about to go wrong. The soul should have someone it can respect, by whose example it can make its inner sanctum more inviolable. Happy is the person who can improve others, not only when present, but even when in their thoughts!â
âSeneca, Moral Letters, 11.9
If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they donât control the world around them, only how they respondâand that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.
Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.
âThe chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my ownâ
âEpictetus
Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, âWorks not words.â
ââIf you seek tranquillity, do less.â Or (more accurately) do whatâs essentialâwhat the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, youâll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, âIs this necessary?ââ
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24
Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with âself-control.â Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline alwaysâin pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.
âAnd a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.â
âMarcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31
Justice is âthe principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.â
Epictetus said, âSeeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.â
âDonât you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for usâeach personâs life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.â
âEpictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36
Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. âTwo words should be committed to memory and obeyed,â he said, âpersist and resist.â
Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.