Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what? —Marcus Aurelius
If your kid was struggling, you’d want them to tell you, right? If they didn’t understand something in class, you’d want them to ask the teacher. If your neighbor needed something, you wouldn’t mind if they mentioned it. If your spouse was overwhelmed and needed a hand, you’d expect them to come to you.
Okay. But what about you? Are you okay? More important, are you asking for help where you need it when you are not okay? Remember, we have to model the behavior we want our kids to learn. So if you refuse to ask for directions when you’re obviously lost, what does that tell them? If you refuse to admit you don’t know something, and you make up an answer to a question instead of looking it up with them, what does that show them about learning and problem-solving? Why would they be okay being vulnerable with a doctor or a therapist, with Mom and Dad, if they have been regularly shown that this is something to be ashamed of? But this is about more than even that. You can’t be a good parent if you’re hurting and not getting help. You can’t be a good parent all by yourself. None of us are islands or invincible or omniscient. To do our best, we have to be able to learn, to rely on others, to admit mistakes, to ask for help. Show them that it’s okay to ask for help. Be better, for them, by asking for the help you know that you need.