May 11th - Where does my lack of self-control create problems?

May - Right Action

May 11th

Guilt Is Worse Than Jail

“The greatest portion of peace of mind is doing nothing wrong. Those who lack self-control live disoriented and disturbed lives.”

—Seneca, Moral Letters, 105.7

Consider the fugitives who willingly turn themselves in after years on the run. Why would they do that? They were free, one step ahead of the law, but they gave up! Because the guilt and the stress of the fugitive life eventually gets worse than the prospect of lost freedom—in fact, it was its own kind of prison.

It’s the same reason why, as a child, you might have confessed to a lie to completely unsuspecting parents. It’s the reason why one partner might voluntarily admit to a crushing infidelity—even though the other partner had no idea. “Why are you telling me this?!” the betrayed shouts as she walks out the door. “Because things have been going so well and I couldn’t take it anymore!”

There are immense costs of doing wrong, not only to society, but to the perpetrator. Look at the lives of most people who reject ethics and discipline, and the chaos and misery that so often follows. This punishment is almost always as bad or worse than whatever society metes out. This is why so many petty criminals confess or voluntarily surrender.

They don’t always stick to it, but at the lowest moment, they finally realize: this is no way to live. They want the peace of mind that comes with doing right. And so do you.

WEEK XIX (19) - We Are A Product Of Our Habits

5th to 11th May

The Roman Stoics put a heavy emphasis on dealing with habitual behaviour in order to make progress in the art of living. The great Roman Stoic educator Musonius Rufus held that all the theory in the world couldn’t trump good habits (or overcome bad habits). Epictetus followed Musonius in this focus on habit, with an eye to not reinforcing bad habits—such as anger—and finding a way to replace them with better ones. We all recognize bad habits when we see them in others, but it’s a little harder to see them in ourselves. This week meditate on the habits or recurring behaviours that are holding you back—even ask someone close to you to help.

“Every habit and capability is confirmed and grows in its corresponding actions, walking by walking, and running by running... therefore, if you want to do something, make a habit of it; if you don’t want to do that, don’t, but make a habit of something else instead. The same principle is at work in our state of mind. When you get angry, you’ve not only experienced that evil, but you’ve also reinforced a bad habit, adding fuel to the fire.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.1-5

“If you don’t wish to be a hothead, don’t feed your habit. Try as a first step to remain calm and count the days you haven’t been angry. I used to be angry every day, now every other day, then every third or fourth . . . if you make it as far as thirty days, thank God! For habit is first weakened and then obliterated. When you can say ‘I didn’t lose my temper today, or the next day, or for three or four months, but kept my cool under provocation,’ you will know you are in better health.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.11b-14

“What assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite!”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 1.27.4

Stoic Guidance - Cardinal Virtues

If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it would be this: A Stoic believes they don’t control the world around them, only how they respond—and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.

Summary of Daily Stoic 4 Stoic Virtues.

Wisdom

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own”

—Epictetus

Wisdom is harnessing what the philosophy teaches then wielding it in the real world. As Seneca put it, “Works not words.”

Temperance / Self-Control / Moderation / Discipline

“‘If you seek tranquillity, do less.’ Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better. Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24

Temperance is the knowledge that abundance comes from having what is essential. The Stoics often used temperance interchangeably with “self-control.” Self-control, not just towards material goods, but self-control, harmony, and good discipline always—in pleasure or pain, admiration or contempt, failure or triumph. Temperance is guarded against extremes, not relying on the fleetingness of pleasure for happiness nor allowing the fleetingness of pain to destroy it.

Justice

“And a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.”

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31

Justice is “the principle which constitutes the bond of human society and of a virtual community of life.”

Epictetus said, “Seeking the very best in ourselves means actively caring for the welfare of other human beings.”

Courage

“Don’t you know life is like a military campaign? One must serve on watch, another in reconnaissance, another on the front line. . . . So it is for us—each person’s life is a kind of battle, and a long and varied one too. You must keep watch like a soldier and do everything commanded. . . . You have been stationed in a key post, not some lowly place, and not for a short time but for life.”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 3.24.31-36

Epictetus was once asked which words would help a person thrive. “Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed,” he said, “persist and resist.”

Courage to face misfortune. Courage to face death. Courage to risk yourself for the sake of your fellow man. Courage to hold to your principles, even when others get away with or are rewarded for disregarding theirs. Courage to speak your mind and insist on truth.