The primary and most important influence on Queen Victoria was not her mother but her beloved governess Baroness Lehzen, who later became her adviser and friend.
It was from Louise Lehzen that Victoria got the backbone that made her one of England’s great queens—one who ruled for some sixty-three years, more than forty of them by herself. As Lehzen said with trademark modesty: I have, to be sure, not created, but nourished in the Princess, one quality which is to test, consider, and to stand firmly by that which the Princess finds right and good.
You have a lot of responsibilities as a parent, but none of them trump this one. Yes, you want your kids to be smart. You want them to be helpful and healthy. You want them to do well in school. But none of that will be possible without having nourished the ability that Lehzen helped Victoria cultivate.
So do it. Every day.