Every event has two handles—one by which it can be carried, and one by which it can’t. If your brother does you wrong, don’t grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other—that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries.
—Epictetus
Each day, possibly hundreds of times per day, you’re presented with situations you have to deal with. A kid who lied to you about doing their homework. A wife who snapped at you. A car that’s got to be taken in for an oil change. A boss with their head up their ass. Grandparents whom your kids love but who drive you nuts. A family you’ve got to get to the airport two hours before takeoff.
How will you react? Will you get angry, pull away, argue, hold a grudge? Or take a deep breath, have some empathy, apologize, let go a little bit, and not be such a control freak? Every day, with every situation, there is a choice. Which handle will we grab? Which handle will we show our kids how to grab? The easy one? Or the right one?