Every parent wishes they could have more time with their kids. We envy the parents who don’t seem to have this problem, who don’t work the same hours we do, who have the flexibility we dream about to spend more time with their kids.
If only we could be so lucky . . .
The comedian Aziz Ansari tells a joke about a conversation he had with the musician Frank Ocean. Marveling at the autonomy Ocean seems to have in his career, Aziz asks how he gets away with making music only when he wants, touring only when he wants, doing only the kinds of things he wants.
It’s not that hard, Ocean tells him; you just have to be comfortable making less money.
If we’re being honest, how much of the time we spend away from our kids for work is actually related to putting food on the table? How much of it is truly rooted in need? In the basics of a healthy, sustainable life? Probably not nearly as much as we tell ourselves (or them).
We work for other reasons—often good reasons—but not because we have to. We could have more flexibility if we wanted. We could choose a different job. We could choose to put family over career advancement, over six- or seven-figure salaries, over keeping up with the Joneses.
Let us stop acting as if the freedom—and opportunity—we crave isn’t within our grasp. We can spend more time with our kids. We can be there more than we are. We just have to be comfortable making less money.