You have things you want to do in this life. Maybe you want to write a book or you’re in the middle of starting a company. Maybe you’re trying to win a championship or run for president. But you want to be a great parent too, obviously, which necessarily makes your other goals more difficult to achieve.
Is this a moral quandary? A Sophie’s choice? Is it possible to yearn for personal achievement and desire to be a great parent and expect to accomplish both? Or does one, as the stories of Justice Ginsburg’s and Justice O’Connor’s early careers might remind us, require sacrifice from the other? For most of history, it’s been women who have felt the tension of these conflicting desires the most and have been forced to choose one over the other. Fathers, on the other hand, have been encouraged—expected even—to look outside the home for fulfillment and recognition, because for men professional success was good parenting.
As society has evolved, however, every parent has had to manage the tension of serving two masters, even prime ministers and billionaires.
In her autobiography, Margaret Thatcher, the first woman to be UK prime minister, quotes Irene Ward, a pioneering British politician: “While the home must always be the centre of one’s life, it should not be the boundary of one’s ambition.”
You’re allowed to think bigger. It’s okay to have a career and want to be great at it. It’s okay to strive to change the world. Because in these things, as long as you share them and open them up to a wider view, you are teaching your kids about you and about the world. You are teaching them about hard
work, about doing what’s right, about fulfilling one’s potential, about being of use to others.