One repays a teacher badly if one remains only a pupil.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
In Spanish they say al maestro cuchillada—“to the Master goes the knife.” It is a fencing expression, referring to the moment when the young and agile pupil becomes skillful enough to cut his Master. But this also refers to the fate of most mentors who inevitably experience the rebellion of their protégés, like the cut from a sword. In our culture, we tend to venerate those who seem rebellious or at least strike the pose. But rebellion has no meaning or power if it occurs without something solid and real to rebel against. The mentor, or father figure, gives you just such a standard from which you can deviate and establish your own identity. You internalize the important and relevant parts of their knowledge, and you apply the knife to what has no bearing on your life. It is the dynamic of changing generations, and sometimes the father figure has to be killed in order for the sons and daughters to have space to discover themselves. You will probably have several mentors in your life, like stepping-stones along the way to mastery.
At each phase of life you must find the appropriate teachers, getting what you want out of them, moving on, and feeling no shame for this. It is the path your own mentor probably took and it is the way of the world.
Daily Law: Internalize the important and relevant parts of the Master’s knowledge. Apply the knife to everything else.
Mastery, III: Absorb the Master’s Power—The Mentor Dynamic
Each age tends to create a model of apprenticeship that is suited to the system of production that prevails at the time. We are now in the computer age, and it is the hacker approach to programming that may offer the most promising model for this new age. The model goes like this: You want to learn as many skills as possible, following the direction that circumstances lead you to, but only if they are related to your deepest interests. Like a hacker, you value the process of self-discovery. You avoid the trap of following one set career path.
You are not sure where this will all lead, but you are taking full advantage of the openness of information, all of the knowledge about skills now at our disposal. You see what kind of work suits you and what you want to avoid at all cost. You move by trial and error. You are not wandering about because you are afraid of commitment, but because you are expanding your skill base and your possibilities. At a certain point, when you are ready to settle on something, ideas and opportunities will inevitably present themselves to you.
When that happens, all of the skills you have accumulated will prove invaluable. You will be the master at combining them in ways that are unique and suited to your individuality.
Daily Law: In this new age, those who follow a rigid, singular path in their youth often find themselves in a career dead end in their forties or overwhelmed with boredom. The wideranging apprenticeship will yield the opposite—expanding possibilities.
Mastery, II: Submit to Reality—The Ideal Apprenticeship
In the stories of the greatest masters, past and present, we can inevitably detect a phase in their lives in which all of their future powers were in development, like the chrysalis of a butterfly. This part of their lives—a largely self-directed apprenticeship that lasts some five to ten years—receives little attention because it does not contain stories of great achievement or discovery. Often in their Apprenticeship Phase, these types are not yet much different from anyone else. Under the surface, however, their minds are transforming in ways we cannot see but contain all of the seeds of their future success. A close examination of their lives reveals a pattern that transcends their various fields, indicating a kind of Ideal Apprenticeship for mastery.
You must see yourself as following in their footsteps. You are on a voyage in which you will craft your own future. It is the time of youth and adventure— of exploring the world with an open mind and spirit. In fact, whenever you must learn a new skill or alter your career path later in life, you reconnect with that youthful, adventurous part of yourself. You constantly look for challenges, pushing yourself past your comfort zone. You use difficulty as a way to measure your progress. This is the spirit you must adopt and see your apprenticeship as a kind of journey in which you will transform yourself, rather than as a drab indoctrination into the work world. The month of February will help you transform yourself through the Ideal Apprenticeship.
When I was twenty-two years old, I had an experience that taught me lessons that I’ve applied throughout my life. I had just graduated from university, and I decided that I was going to wander around Europe for a while and practice the languages that I had learned in school. I was eager to show off my language skills (French, German, Spanish, Italian). I traveled all over the continent, and then ended up in Paris. I fell in love with the place. I decided I wanted to try and stay for a while. But there was a problem: the French that I had learned over several years in university was woefully inadequate. The Parisians spoke so quickly I could barely understand a word. And when I tried to mutter something and bungled the French, they were actually quite unfriendly.
In all those years of studying French, I had not learned basic expressions for the simple things that one needed when one traveled, like how to order food in restaurants, etc. All of these problems made me rather shy and made me want to stay in my hotel room or keep to myself. But then I made a key decision. I was lonely and really wanted to stay in Paris, and to do so it was critical that I learned the language at a high level. So, I forced myself out of the hotel room. I made myself speak every single day with Parisians for several hours. As much as I could, I spoke no English and did not hang out with other Americans. Every time I interacted with Parisians, I listened to them carefully and noticed any words or expressions I did not understand. I asked questions. I took notes. I absorbed very deeply all of their phrases and their intonations and their gestures. I met a French girl that I wanted to date, and now I had to try even harder to master the language.
Soon my hard work at the language was paying off. I got a job working in a hotel as a receptionist. I was becoming more fluent by the day. I could converse with everyday people; I was meeting Parisians and my circle of acquaintances was expanding. I learned in this way that the Parisians were not unfriendly at all. I was invited into their homes and could feel what it was like to have grown up in that magical city.
Sometimes I would make mistakes and people would make fun of me or laugh. I decided never to take this personally. Even when I made a mistake, I would actually make fun of myself in the process. The Parisians appreciated my self-deprecating humor and my effort and my love of their language.
After a year and a half in Paris, I emerged with a solid command of French, which I still have, and some very memorable adventures.
It was an immensely satisfying experience. And it taught me several lessons. The first is that when you want to learn something, motivation is absolutely key. At the university, during those two or three years of studying French, the stakes were not high enough for me to learn. The only thing was to get a good grade, but my life or my happiness or my work did not depend on it. There in Paris, it was sink or swim. I had to learn. I had to get a job and meet people. Because of this high motivation factor, my brain absorbed information at a much higher rate. I learned more in one month than in two or three years of university French because I was so excited.
I also learned the importance of the intensity of your focus, of being immersed in something. Practicing every single day for hours upon hours, having the language ringing in my ear, dreaming in French, my attention was intense and focused. And because of that, I learned rapidly.
But the most important lesson of all was that you really learn in this world by doing things, by practice. Not by reading books or taking tutorials. You need to be out on the street, interacting with people, trying things out, learning from your mistakes, not being afraid to make mistakes or be ridiculed.
This lesson has served me well in everything I’ve attempted. It gave me confidence that I could master anything with this basic pattern. When I had to write my first book, I was under a lot of stress to make it a success, but my experience in Paris helped guide me. I had learned the importance of going at it every day, being disciplined and excited at the same time. I had learned the value of intense focus, and that the more books I wrote the easier it would become. I applied the same thing to doing interviews. You learn by doing, over and over, practicing and practicing. And from this, you slowly get a pleasure, a joy from the process itself and from mastering something. And that joy and that pleasure stays with you for your whole life. It is embedded in your brain.
If you want to write a book, write it. If you want to be a musician, make music. If you want to start a business, go ahead and start it. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes or failing; you learn best through failures. Find someone who is a master at music or at business and attach yourself to them. Get an education at their feet, doing whatever tasks they assign you. Immerse yourself in the world or the industry that you wish to master. This is better than all the books or courses you could read or take in the world—learning by doing.