Coco Chanel began life from a position of great weakness—an orphan with little or no resources in life. She realized in her early twenties that her calling was to design clothes and to start her own apparel line. She desperately needed guidance, however, particularly when it came to the business side.
She looked for people who could help her find her way. At the age of twentyfive she met the perfect target, a wealthy older English businessman named Arthur “Boy” Capel. She latched on to him with great vehemence. He was able to instill in her the confidence that she could become a famous designer.
He taught her about business in general. He offered her tough criticisms that she could accept because of her deep respect for him. He helped guide her in her first important decisions in setting up her business. From him she developed a very honed sense of purpose that she retained her entire life.
Without his influence, her path would have been too confusing and difficult.
Later in life, she kept returning to this strategy. She found other men and women who had skills she lacked or needed to strengthen—social graciousness, marketing, a nose for cultural trends—and developed relationships that allowed her to learn from them. In this case, you want to find people who are pragmatic and not merely those who are charismatic or visionaries. You want their practical advice, and to absorb their spirit of getting things done. If possible, collect around you a group of people from different fields, as friends or associates, who have similar energy. You will help elevate one another’s sense of purpose. Do not settle for virtual associations or mentors.
Daily Law: Make a list of the people in your life who live with purpose. Prioritize spending more time with them.
The Laws of Human Nature, 13: Advance with a Sense of Purpose—The Law of Aimlessness
In the stories of the greatest masters, past and present, we can inevitably detect a phase in their lives in which all of their future powers were in development, like the chrysalis of a butterfly. This part of their lives—a largely self-directed apprenticeship that lasts some five to ten years—receives little attention because it does not contain stories of great achievement or discovery. Often in their Apprenticeship Phase, these types are not yet much different from anyone else. Under the surface, however, their minds are transforming in ways we cannot see but contain all of the seeds of their future success. A close examination of their lives reveals a pattern that transcends their various fields, indicating a kind of Ideal Apprenticeship for mastery.
You must see yourself as following in their footsteps. You are on a voyage in which you will craft your own future. It is the time of youth and adventure— of exploring the world with an open mind and spirit. In fact, whenever you must learn a new skill or alter your career path later in life, you reconnect with that youthful, adventurous part of yourself. You constantly look for challenges, pushing yourself past your comfort zone. You use difficulty as a way to measure your progress. This is the spirit you must adopt and see your apprenticeship as a kind of journey in which you will transform yourself, rather than as a drab indoctrination into the work world. The month of February will help you transform yourself through the Ideal Apprenticeship.
When I was twenty-two years old, I had an experience that taught me lessons that I’ve applied throughout my life. I had just graduated from university, and I decided that I was going to wander around Europe for a while and practice the languages that I had learned in school. I was eager to show off my language skills (French, German, Spanish, Italian). I traveled all over the continent, and then ended up in Paris. I fell in love with the place. I decided I wanted to try and stay for a while. But there was a problem: the French that I had learned over several years in university was woefully inadequate. The Parisians spoke so quickly I could barely understand a word. And when I tried to mutter something and bungled the French, they were actually quite unfriendly.
In all those years of studying French, I had not learned basic expressions for the simple things that one needed when one traveled, like how to order food in restaurants, etc. All of these problems made me rather shy and made me want to stay in my hotel room or keep to myself. But then I made a key decision. I was lonely and really wanted to stay in Paris, and to do so it was critical that I learned the language at a high level. So, I forced myself out of the hotel room. I made myself speak every single day with Parisians for several hours. As much as I could, I spoke no English and did not hang out with other Americans. Every time I interacted with Parisians, I listened to them carefully and noticed any words or expressions I did not understand. I asked questions. I took notes. I absorbed very deeply all of their phrases and their intonations and their gestures. I met a French girl that I wanted to date, and now I had to try even harder to master the language.
Soon my hard work at the language was paying off. I got a job working in a hotel as a receptionist. I was becoming more fluent by the day. I could converse with everyday people; I was meeting Parisians and my circle of acquaintances was expanding. I learned in this way that the Parisians were not unfriendly at all. I was invited into their homes and could feel what it was like to have grown up in that magical city.
Sometimes I would make mistakes and people would make fun of me or laugh. I decided never to take this personally. Even when I made a mistake, I would actually make fun of myself in the process. The Parisians appreciated my self-deprecating humor and my effort and my love of their language.
After a year and a half in Paris, I emerged with a solid command of French, which I still have, and some very memorable adventures.
It was an immensely satisfying experience. And it taught me several lessons. The first is that when you want to learn something, motivation is absolutely key. At the university, during those two or three years of studying French, the stakes were not high enough for me to learn. The only thing was to get a good grade, but my life or my happiness or my work did not depend on it. There in Paris, it was sink or swim. I had to learn. I had to get a job and meet people. Because of this high motivation factor, my brain absorbed information at a much higher rate. I learned more in one month than in two or three years of university French because I was so excited.
I also learned the importance of the intensity of your focus, of being immersed in something. Practicing every single day for hours upon hours, having the language ringing in my ear, dreaming in French, my attention was intense and focused. And because of that, I learned rapidly.
But the most important lesson of all was that you really learn in this world by doing things, by practice. Not by reading books or taking tutorials. You need to be out on the street, interacting with people, trying things out, learning from your mistakes, not being afraid to make mistakes or be ridiculed.
This lesson has served me well in everything I’ve attempted. It gave me confidence that I could master anything with this basic pattern. When I had to write my first book, I was under a lot of stress to make it a success, but my experience in Paris helped guide me. I had learned the importance of going at it every day, being disciplined and excited at the same time. I had learned the value of intense focus, and that the more books I wrote the easier it would become. I applied the same thing to doing interviews. You learn by doing, over and over, practicing and practicing. And from this, you slowly get a pleasure, a joy from the process itself and from mastering something. And that joy and that pleasure stays with you for your whole life. It is embedded in your brain.
If you want to write a book, write it. If you want to be a musician, make music. If you want to start a business, go ahead and start it. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes or failing; you learn best through failures. Find someone who is a master at music or at business and attach yourself to them. Get an education at their feet, doing whatever tasks they assign you. Immerse yourself in the world or the industry that you wish to master. This is better than all the books or courses you could read or take in the world—learning by doing.