The entrepreneur Ben Horowitz was coached for many years by the legendary Bill Campbell—the so-called Trillion Dollar Coach for his work with Larry Page, Steve Jobs, and Sheryl Sandberg. In a eulogy he wrote for Campbell, Horowitz told the story of one of the toughest things he had gone through as a dad and how Campbell helped him through it: My oldest child Jules concluded he was transgender and was going to change his gender by taking testosterone and having surgery. It’s impossible to fully describe how one feels as a parent in a situation like that, but mostly all I felt was worry—worry that he wouldn’t be accepted, worry that his health would fail, worry that the surgery would not go well, worry that he would be killed by some intolerant group. I was so filled with worry that I could barely function. . . . So, I decided to tell Bill. When I told him, I could see the tears well up in his eyes and he said, “That’s going to be really hard.” Then he immediately wanted to see Jules. And Bill made sure that he embraced Jules and let him know that he was not alone and would always have a friend in Bill. Bill understood.
This wonderful public moment about a private struggle, shared in honor of a personal mentor, speaks to the heart of what every child needs to hear from their parents, no matter what they’re going through: There are going to be things in your life that are very hard. But you’re not alone. I’ll always be your friend.