You want your son to be strong and to be honest. You want your daughters to be those things too. You want them to work hard, to help other people, to be respectful to their parents and the people they meet on the street. You want them to be clean and organized, to laugh and to be resilient.
Of course you want those things. Everyone does. The question is, how do we raise good kids? The answer is staring you in the mirror.
The bestselling author and father of two Austin Kleon talks about how this is the hardest part of parenting: You have to be the kind of human being you want your children to be. You have to do the things you want your kids to do. “I find this with parents all the time,” he said. “They want their kids to do things that they don’t do themselves.” He wants his kids to be readers, so he makes sure they see him reading. He wants them to explore different hobbies and interests, so he makes sure they see him practicing an instrument or tinkering in a sketchbook. He wants them to work hard and find work they care about, so he makes sure they see him working in his studio. He wants them to treat others with respect and kindness, so he makes sure they see him giving their mother something he made for her.
Who you are forms who they will be. So be who you want them to be. Do what you want them to do. It’s hard, but it’s the only way.