In 1952, Margaret Thatcher’s father was driven out of office when a rival political party won a majority in the election. He was upset. He was hurt. And he could have allowed those emotions to drive how he reacted. But he didn’t.
Instead, Thatcher’s father made a statement of incredible restraint and dignity: “It is now almost nine years since I took up these robes in honor, and now I trust in honor they are laid down.” He added later, “Although I have toppled over I have fallen on my feet. My own feeling is that I was content to be in and I am content to be out.”
We could say that what he was doing was showing his daughter how to lose with grace. But it was much more than that. He was showing her that external circumstances don’t define us, only how we respond to them. He was showing her how to bear adversity and how to never surrender your poise or self-control. These would all be lessons that Thatcher would use throughout her tumultuous life as a public servant, a prime minister, and a mother.
Your kids will need them too. So show them. Show by example, not just with words. Show them, when you’ve been screwed over and it really hurts, that still your personal code of conduct matters more. Because it does. Because it will.