I think of myself as a philosopher only in the sense of being able to set an example.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
There is a story in Seneca’s famous essay “On Anger” about a boy who at a very young age went to live in the house of Plato to study under the famous philosopher. Returning home to visit his parents, the boy witnessed his father lose his temper and yell at someone. Surprised by this violent outburst, and with the simple innocence that children are capable of, the boy said, “I never saw anyone at Plato’s house act like that.”
However we conduct ourselves in front of our children—particularly at home, in private—they will come to see as normal. If we are rude or unkind to our spouse, they will assume that is an appropriate way to treat people they love. If we are anxious and overly worried, they will come to think that the world is a scary place that must be feared. If we behave unethically or cynically, they too will begin to cheat and lie.